In my skin

There is a lot of pressure from outside influences to be perfect and the voice in my head won’t let my thoughts rest from the things I hate about myself. I have never had a healthy relationship with my body, instead I pick things apart and dwell on them, wishing I could change what God has made. I look at my belly that is covered in stretch marks, my boobs that are saggier than the average 21 year old, and I see how my belly button is stretched and herniated. My face is covered in acne, my hair is dry and brittle, and this is how I see myself. I don’t see myself for what truly matters, that I am a loving wife and mother, that I am making changes in my life that better suit my family, that I am a worthy child of the most high God that has given me this body as a gift. It is not what I look like that matters, but who I am and what I am giving to this world. Am I striving for kindness, for grace, patience, and ultimately love? Am I trying to compare myself to the rest of God’s creation? I want to shift this focus before it is too late, especially because I am about to welcome my second baby into this world. I want Dalton and Ellie to love themselves because they are worthy of that. I want to love myself because I am worthy and my children will depend on me to find their self worth. My self worth is not in the accomplishments but in my heart, how I treat others, how I love others, hopefully in a way that lets God’s light shine through me. My body has created and sustained life and I am blessed with these marks. The best I can do is take care of my body, nourish my mind with God’s word, nourish my physical body with whole food, and exercise. I am not my imperfections, I am my actions and my thoughts, and this is what truly matters.

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3 thoughts on “In my skin”

  1. Awesome first post!! You forgot one thing, you’re an amazing daughter-in-law. I literally couldn’t have picked a better one myself. And God knew that! 😊 I love you Kayley!!

    Liked by 1 person

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